41 Book Titles that Capture Life as a 41-Year-Old Mom of Two Toddlers

My blog writing has dropped off significantly. I’m in the midst of reframing and repositioning my writing as I continue querying my picture books to literary agents. This blog is also likely to retire or go private as the age of AI combined with better protecting my children’s privacy makes all this public stuff more complicated.

Alas, a few days ago I just really (did you know “just” and “really” are bad filler words in writing?) wanted to hit this tradition again. So I’m leaning into the hopeful author vibe this year.

Introducing 41 Book Titles I Could Probably Write that Capture Life as a 41-Year-Old Mom of Two Toddlers

(Forgive the sometimes-there, sometimes-not title case because that did not make the list of my priorities)

1. The worldwide, complete guide to trucks and construction equipment
   1. Why having neighbors with construction projects is the greatest thing in the world
2. The Benefits of Being the Last in the Extended Family to Have Kids So You Get All the Hand-Me-Downs and Never Have to Buy Anything (a special thanks to all the car and construction shirts and jammies as well as anything that has animals on it and also the button-down baby jammies that no one likes but we love because they are so much easier for running cords through)
3. The complete guide to animals and the sounds they make because I know you don’t know the sound an emu makes off the top of your head
4. Toucans: the scariest animal
5. How to get a stain out of almost anything and when to just cut your losses
6. Baking with toddlers: Teaching the beauty of licking beaters
7. How to take a child outside and then get them to come back in
8. Parents who cut the crust off a child’s bread are chumps: I am a Chump, volume 1
9. Parents who are short order cooks are chumps: I am a Chump, volume 2
10. The complete list of things that need to be done before your child will go to bed, including getting the water bottle, reading books, one more book, two more songs, wiping a goobie off the face, filling the humidifier (the latest stall tactic), tucking in stuffies, “not that blanket this blanket”, putting the child down, then up, then down, then up, then down, and last but not least up because down was never an option
11. Parents who cuddle their kids to sleep are chumps: I am a Chump, volume 3
12. The Dog Who Used to Have a Carefree Life: Helping your dog overcome toddler trauma
13. Where the Wild Things Are in My House: when the outside comes inside
14. How to enjoy having sand in your home
15. The Napping House? giving up on your dreams
16. The #2 Companion: illustrated stories to entertain your child as they take care of business
17. The 20 variations of Baa Baa Black Sheep and Wheels on the Bus you can find on Spotify
18. Everything AND the kitchen sink: How to Pack Up Your House Every Time You Leave, While Still Forgetting Something Critical Every Time
19. Ruined vacations and their sicknesses
20. Failing as a mother: a quickstart guide
21. Front room makeover: storing toys under couches, giving up on storing toys at all, and embracing tripping hazards
22. Coordinating your daily walk so you can watch “the kids” get on the school bus
23. Hambuhguger, sawwary (sorry), hossabeel (hospital) and other words too cute to correct
24. Shoes and how not to wear them… ever
25. Battle of the binkies: Helping your child get rid of their binky and then immediately caving because suddenly paying for orthodontics seems the better option than that nightmare
26. Toddler-proofing your toddler-proofing
27. A guide to getting your child to wear something other than pajamas
28. Eighteen and a half minutes: a simple guide to wreaking havoc while mom is pumping
29. Managing a prolific builder and a compulsive destroyer in the same home
30. Cozy Coupe: the slowest way to drive to church
31. 30 recipes that are all actually just cheese
32. How to use Book Tape to Tape Up Your Books: An Amateur Guide
33. Planting a garden with vegetables your child will eat: Recipes for spaghetti sauce
34. If it ain’t broke, break it
35. AND NOW FOR SOME MORE SERIOUS TITLES SO DON’T BE SHOCKED THAT THE HUMOR IS OVER THAT’S WHY I’M WRITING THIS IN ALL CAPS.
    1. Working through the challenges of a medically complex child: How to manage long term oxygen, shorter term feeding tubes (hallelujah we’re done with that), exclusively pumping for 14+ months, thickened feeds, medication 5-6 times a day, inhalers, 2-4 appointments a week for oh a year or so, way too much hospital time, chest vest therapy (this is our new fun thing), PT, OT, feeding therapy, and yes I am complaining
36. Just Feed Me: How to support parents of medically complex children (bonus material: who also have a toddler!)
37. Just Feed Me, Volume 2: How to stress about every milliliter your medically complex baby does or does not eat all day every single day for a year while feeding therapists call him “tricky”
38. How to be the exception to everything where you feel like this is the first time experts have ever seen the issue you are presenting them
39. Managing life as a couple when you’ve only left the baby with someone else a total of one hour over the last year (aside from the hospital)
40. Why quitting your full-time job that you worked in for 17 years when you have a medically complex baby and a toddler makes all the sense in the world, especially when they couldn’t accommodate you going part time
    1. Epilogue: The blessing of a great friend who offers you a flexible, work from home, part-time consulting job.
41. The Luckiest Parents in the World: A Memoir About the greatest, biggest, messiest love that ever there was, is, and could be

It’s been an amazing year and an incredibly difficult year. A year ago, I turned 40 sitting in the NICU holding my baby and bawling as we just found out Baby A had difficulty swallowing and would need thickened feeds and might never nurse. This was just one of many challenges that have lasted much longer than any of us anticipated and put me on a pumping journey I never wanted (and yet I’ve had the opportunity to donate some of my milk which has been a blessing).

This year is a much better birthday. So many of the challenges are the same but we have a hilarious 2.5-year-old who talks and talks and talks and runs and bounces and jumps and is altogether wild in so many ways and a 1-year-old who is a fast crawler and can get into everything everywhere but is mostly intrigued by power cords because they must remind him of his ever-present comfort toys: oxygen and feeding tubes and pulse ox monitor cord.

I have been stressed to the max this year. And loved to the max. These cuties drive me up the wall and really I could deal with my hair not being a comfort item, but the pitter patter of feet and hand and knees crawling back and forth all day long is still my favorite sound. And the giggles. Baby A laughs and giggles all day long. He’s so happy and so delightful and so much of everything good. And Little J has a wild kind of laughter and the cutest, sweetest voice.

We’ve only made it this far because of our beautiful village supporting us, praying for us, and helping us in so many ways so 41 cheers to all of you. And a special thanks to my boo.

I feel like this should end with an Amen. So, Amen.